Lost and Found
by Owlsweety
Summary: It's years after Promised Day, and Envy finds himself searching for something that may have never been lost in the first place.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is the result of an outline that has been on my phone for a while, so I hope it's not as bad as some of my other fanfictions. Enjoy you guys.**

** Warnings: This chapter in particular has, um, lots of swearing. Lots. I really hate to use bad language on the internet but since this fic involves Envy, in order to keep him in character I had to add a few f-bombs here and there. But I did try to keep the swearing down to a minimum, and there's unlikely to be as much in future chapters. But still, just a heads up.**

** Also, this **_**is **_**an EnvyxOC fic. So if you're not a fan of those, please feel free to leave now.**

** As far as the whole Hugo-in-the-military thing goes (you'll understand what I mean in a second), I took some liberties regarding attitudes during 1920-1930 Germany (which is what most of this AU is based off of). Yes, I **_**know **_**it's not entirely accurate for the time period, but also keep in mind that this is **_**Envy **_**we're talking about. I highly doubt he would care all that much.**

** As for the science stuff, I combined my knowledge from high-school biology with Wikipedia's. If the whole thing is more complicated than how I portrayed it, I'm sorry.**

** I think that's it, so without further ado, I present to you: Lost and Found.**

** Disclaimer: FullMetal Alchemist and its characters do not belong to me but the wonderful Hiromu Arakawa.**

_(…)_

Central trains were always crowded, and Hugo had known it. But he had missed the train from Eastern Headquarters, and he was already pretty close to Central anyway. Rather than waiting a week for the next, Hugo decided to make the six-hour drive to Central and take a train the next day. At the time, he had felt very clever for thinking of it, but now he was grumpy and sleep-deprived and the man leaning on him had very obviously eaten onions a short while before. He knew that this overnight ride might end up seeming very long indeed.

Suddenly, he heard grunting from the left side of him, followed by a peculiar sentence with rather vulgar word choice. He saw people being pushed out of the way, and a young man wrestled his way into the empty seat across from him.

Hugo had never seen anyone who looked quite like this man before. He had very pale skin and long, dark hair that was tied back behind his ears. Hugo would have thought he was Xingese were it not for his light-colored eyes-were they blue?-and the way his hair flashed green when the light hit it. Besides, he was dressed nothing like a Xingese immigrant: He was wearing simple black trousers paired with a rather tight-looking top that ended at his midriff and would have certainly caused a scandal were it not for the large trenchcoat he wore over it. To top off all the strangeness, his wild hair was pushed away from his eyes with a thick black headband.

Needless to say, Hugo's curiosity was piqued. There was no one else around who was conscious enough to carry a decent conversation, and as he knew that the ride was going to be long and boring otherwise, he decided to catch his strange companion while he was still awake.

"I must say, I don't think I've ever seen anyone with green hair before."

The young man turned his gaze to him, and Hugo was surprised to see that his eyes were not blue, as he had earlier anticipated, but in fact a very light purple shade. A purple shade that was now glaring at him with two parts irritation and one part pure befuddlement. "Huh?"

Hugo smiled, hoping to dissipate the hostile vibe he felt his companion give off. "Your hair. It's a very unique color. Is it naturally like that?"

The man stared at him, and Hugo realized that he hadn't blinked once since he had sat down in the care. Then the corners of his mouth turned upwards in a slight smirk, and he raised an eyebrow at Hugo. "Are you trying to make a pass at me?"

Hugo's eyebrow twitched as he realized that he was trying to make him uncomfortable. For Hugo, however, this particular tactic was futile. "Not this time, no."

Immediately the man's second eyebrow shot up to join the first, and his smirk widened into a grin. "Oh really? I didn't know they allowed people like you in the military." He gestured to Hugo's blue uniform peeking out from under his coat.

The words "people like you" did irritate Hugo a little, but he tried not to let it show. He knew this man was probably trying to get a rise out of him, but nevertheless he was certainly an interesting person. Against his best instincts, Hugo kept talking to him. "They allow anyone into the military, as long as you obey orders and keep your personal affairs personal."

The other man tilted his head back, that smug grin still plastered to his face. "Whatever you say."

Hugo's irritation flared again, but he kept his ground and changed the subject again. "I don't think I've ever gone so long in a conversation without knowing what to even call the other person. What's your name?"

"What's yours?"

"Hugo Semmler."

"Well, Mr. Semmler," The man-or was he still a boy? The constant immaturity now made Hugo unsure-leaned back in his chair and pushed against a sleeping woman who had started tilting against his shoulder. "What's a dog of the military doing on a train to Resembool?"

Again, Hugo felt his eyebrow twitch. "I could ask the same of you."

"Well, I'm not the dog here, am I? So obviously you have to answer the question."

Hugo sighed and looked out the window. "I'm visiting family for a while."

"Ooh, fun. Sounds _stupendous._"

"It _is,_" Hugo insisted. He smiled. "I have a young niece. She'll be turning five this year."

"Really. What's her name?"

"Mitzi. The same as her mother." Rain drops had started sticking to the window, and Hugo watched one as it slid down the water-stained glass and was quickly sucked up by the cloth seal at the bottom. "She's a handful."

"Rambunctious?"

Hugo laughed. "Oh yes. She's got quite the attitude. Sometimes, when her father leaves her alone with me for a bit, she'll recite to me all the curses she knows."

"She sounds a like a complete brat. How many does she know?"

"So far, only 'ass','damn' and 'hell', but she's getting there. I'm sure her older cousin has taught her well."

"Sounds like a real blast."

Hugo turned back to the man and noticed that he too was looking out the window. However, his chesire grin was gone, replaced by a strangely stoic expression masking something that Hugo knew but couldn't name. Anger? Annoyance?  
He tried to alleviate whatever unpleasant thing the other man was thinking about. "What about you? What brings such an interesting person as yourself to such a boring place as Resembool?"

The man glanced at Hugo for a second, his violet eyes flashing before turning his gaze back to the rain outside. "I'm visiting an old friend, that's all."

"Ah." Hugo wanted to know more, but for some reason, those last words seemed to hold a finality that kept the rest of the train ride silent. The sound of rain and gentle bumps finally set Hugo's sleep-deprived brain to rest, and when the gentle swaying of the car stopped his senses were reawakened with hot breath on his face.

"Tell Mitzi about the wonderful word of 'Fuck' for me," was whispered into his ear, and yet when Hugo finally opened his eyes he found that the seat across from him was empty.

He groped around for his suitcase and looked around the cabin. There was no one in sight, save for the conductors gliding along the aisles. There was one abandoned suitcase in a corner with a pink cardigan draped over it, a blue heart embroidered right above the hem. However, no matter how hard Hugo looked, he could find no trace of his green-haired companion.

"How funny," Hugo mumbled to himself as he pulled out of the train car. "I didn't even catch his name."

_(...)_

It was just a doorbell. It didn't have teeth or spikes and it wasn't electrified. There wasn't any reason to not just _push _the goddamn thing already.

Envy gritted his teeth and bounced from foot to foot, his legs brushing against the trousers that now entrapped them. He had hated the idea of giving up his usual attire for something that felt so restricting and _common_, but he had to come to terms with the fact that the very skimpy skirt and shorts combination attracted the kind of attention that he was definitely not interested in. At least not _now_, anyway.

Everything about him had felt so much more different than before. No longer was his hair flying around his head freely, but instead tied back with a long, black ribbon in order to keep it more manageable. The trench coat he didn't really mind, since he had worn similar things in the past and it was better than being cold all the time. Even the handle of his only suitcase felt strangely foreign in his palm. The cool leather slipped rather disgustingly against the slimy sweat from his hand.

Ah, yes. Sweat. Sweat and oil and other fluids that Envy had never encountered before in all two-hundred years of his life.

That was the reason he was here. Standing in front of his door, ready to push _his _doorbell.

He gritted his teeth and pushed the tiny button. He heard a loud ring resound within the house, and then…

...nothing.

His temper flared along with slight panic. Was the pipsqueak not even _home? _Weren't they supposed to just rush to the door like the military was coming to kill them all? What the _hell-_

-And then the door flew open, and Envy's eyes met with golden ones he hadn't seen for almost a decade.

There was an awkward, painful silence, and then-

"Envy? You're here already?"

He felt a long string of not-so-nice words boil in the bottom of his throat, but shoved it down and only a growl tainted his tone. "Glad to see you're _excited_ to have me, Pipsqueak."

Ed's eyebrow twitched, and Envy smirked as he waited in expectant glee for the loud screams of insults and anger. Hoo, he still knew how to get under the little midget's skin.

But then Ed only stepped forward, and Envy felt his delight turn quickly into confusion.

And then comprehension.

As he looked up at Ed, his mouth slightly open in shock, he saw that stupid smirk graze across the blonde's face.

"How the _hell _are you-"

"I guess you can't call me Pipsqueak anymore, now can you?" The smirk was a grin now, and Envy fantasized briefly about raising his leg and kicking the alchemist where it counts. Ed, however, simply stepped back triumphantly and turned to walk back into the house. "Why don't you come in? It's kind of chilly outside right now." And with that, he disappeared beyond the threshold, leaving the door open for Envy.

Who, by the way, was still standing on the doorstep in complete confusion. Which was quickly replaced by anger as he grabbed his bag and stormed inside.

"Stupid asshole," he muttered.

_(...)_

Even though the Pipsqueak (he knew he couldn't call him that anymore, but he would anyway dammit) was still about as mature as a five-year-old, Envy had to admit that he had a nice place.

Sunlight streamed in through the curtained windows and fell upon literally everything, as if an overzealous toddler had come in and sprinkled yellowish-light with reckless abandon. There were toys strewn around the carpet and hardwood floors, and a single book was laying upon the beaten but inviting sofa in the corner. However, the kitchen was by far one of the prettier rooms. The linoleum tile felt good on Envy's bare feet, and there were still unwashed dishes in the sink. A tea kettle was on the stove, gently boiling, and there were embroidered towels flung over the oven handle. Everything was so homey and sweet and domestic.

It made Envy want to puke.

The table in the center of the room had two mugs on it, and Envy flopped down in front of the nearest one. He dropped his suitcase on the ground nearby, and he suddenly he felt fatigue hit him over his head like one of the Pipsqueak's punches. He shouldn't have forgone sleeping on the train.

Of course, he hadn't _needed _sleep before. So he hadn't even thought about dozing off during the ride here.

Suddenly, a loud shriek pierced the air, and Envy clapped his hands over his ears.

"What the _fuck _is that?"

The Pipsqueak quickly moved to the stove and moved the kettle off of it, turning off the burner as the shrill noise slowly left the air. "Geez, it's just the kettle. Can you control your language for once?"

Envy snorted. "Like you should be talking. You fit about five questionable words into every sentence, _Pipsqueak_."

He noticed Ed wince, although to Envy's dismay it wasn't at the outdated insult. "Seriously, cut it out. You never know who could be awake at this god-forsaken hour. And that was a long time ago."

"Was it?" Envy was about to make another jab at the Pipsqueak's height, but he was interrupted when his mug was placed in front of him again. Only this time, it was full of steaming hot liquid that smelled suspiciously heavenly. He looked inside it, and was confronted with a smooth brown liquid that he knew all too well.

Ed sat in front of him and took a sip from his own mug, his eyebrows raising at Envy's reaction to the offending substance. "What's wrong with you? Haven't you ever seen hot cocoa before?"

Envy glared at him, letting Ed know that, yes, he had _definitely _seen hot cocoa before. "Of course I have, Pipsqueak. I'm not as young as I look, you know."

"You sure _act _a lot younger than you look, believe me."

Envy ignored him and took the hot mug into his freezing hands, gently sipping it so that it wouldn't burn his tongue or lips. He couldn't help but sigh softly as warmth slipped down his throat and spread all over his body.

If Ed had noticed any of this, he didn't say anything about it. He merely sat his mug on the table with a soft _thunk _and looked directly at Envy, trying to catch his gaze. "So?"

Envy looked down at his mug, refusing to play the Elric's game. "So what?"

"Why are you here?"

"Didn't Pride tell you? This is part of my parole. I'm supposed to come and stay a month with you."

"That's complete and total bull and you know it. Pride doesn't control you. You just told him to call me up and tell me all that."

Envy finally flicked his eyes up to see Edward staring intently at him. Annoyed. It made Envy inexplicably happy to see Edward annoyed. "Maybe I did. What's it to you?"

"Don't play this game with me, Envy. You want something from me. What is it?"

Envy's fingers were clutching at the hot mug in his hands, holding in his lap. He knew he would have to say this eventually. He just didn't know it would be so soon.

He sighed and inhaled loudly. The Pipsqueak just sat there, blinking at him like the most confused bunny-rabbit in the entire goddamn world.

He glared at Ed and took another deep breath. And another. And another.

Still the Pipsqueak just sat there, completely bewildered by the greenette's actions.

"What are you doing?"

Envy growled and banged on the table with frustration, making Ed jump a little. The blonde's annoyance with the other man grew to a head and he hissed at him.

"Geez, what the heck is wrong with you?"

"How do you not get it, Pipsqueak? Are you just so fucking dense that you can't interpret what's before your very eyes?"

"Stop swearing so loudly! And what the heck are you talking about?"

Envy got right up close to the Pipsqueak and bared his teeth. His rage and frustration mixed and boiled to the point of near explosion. "Want me to do it again, Pipsqueak? You better watch this time to make sure you don't miss a thing. You ready?"

And then Envy inhaled again. Long and loud and full.

Edward stared. And finally Envy felt relief as he saw comprehension splayed itself across his stupid face.

"You're...you're _breathing_."

Envy sat back in his chair and glared at the alchemist, who was staring at him with a completely different kind of befuddlement. "Yes, _Pipsqueak. _I'm _breathing. _I'm also _sweating, tiring, blushing, itching, _and doing tons of other things that I'd rather _not _describe." He grit his teeth and looked down again into his mug. "I'm leaving _fingerprints, _Pipsqueak. _Fingerprints. _That means I'm _oiling _too."

Ed was still staring at him, and Envy could just picture his little mind trying to wrap itself around this new concept. "But...But you're a homunculus. You're not supposed to do any of those things. You're not even supposed to have a _pulse._"

"But I do, Pipsqueak. And here's what's really shocking," Envy leaned forward again so Ed could get a good look at his face.

Ed squinted and inspected Envy's skin, before giving him a quizzical look. "Okay, now I don't get what you're talking about at all."

"_You don't see them?" _Envy hissed and leaned back again, his temper like a spring ready to snap at any moment. "I have _wrinkles _Pipsqueak. That means I'm also _aging_."

A long pause filled the air with suffocating tension. After a while, Ed tried to ease it, but his voice only made the atmosphere more stifling.

"That's what you wanted to come see me about?"

One look from Envy was enough to sufficiently answer that question.

Ed sat back to think while Envy fidgeted in his chair. Finally, Ed broke the silence once more.

"The only way I can think to explain it is a symbiotic relationship."

This time Envy was the one to stare confusedly. "A _what?"_

"A symbiotic relationship. It's a biology term. When two species cooperate and form a relationship, it's known as symbiosis."

Envy wondered why he even bothered talking to Ed. "How about you speak actual Amestrian to me, Pipsqueak? Because I'm not understanding one goddamn word of your stupid science jargon."

Ed shot him a distasteful look in reaction to the curse, but Envy found he could really care less. "Fine. A symbiotic relationship is when one living thing from one species depends on another living thing of another species in order to survive. Sometimes it's mutual, sometimes it's one-sided. It all depends on how much each party benefits from the situation."

"Okay, that's all fine and dandy, but what does it have to do with me getting wrinkles?"

"I'm getting there." Ed picked up his mug and sipped from it again. "There are three types of symbiosis: parasitism, mutualism and commensalism. With parasitism, one party benefits while the other one suffers. In mutualism, both parties benefit equally, and with commensalism, one party benefits while the other doesn't suffer, but doesn't benefit either."

Envy flicked a piece of hair from his face as he tried desperately to keep a firm grasp onto what Ed was saying. "Uh huh."

"Therefore, I think that you-" Ed pointed to Envy with his free hand. "-and all the other homunculi might have had a symbiotic relationship with Father. Or at least your stones did."

Envy felt his muscles twitch at the mention of Father, and it was all he could do to keep from lunging across the table and ripping off the blonde's stupid little face. But the Pipsqueak was willingly giving him information he needed, so it might be best to save the face-ripping for later. "So? Does that mean when Father-"

"Yes. When Father died-" Twitch. "-his stone died as well, correct? If your stones drew power from Father's stone, when Father's stone was gone your stones would have limited power leftover because the power source would be gone."

Envy stared. "So...that means-"

"Yeah. As your stone's power slowly is being used up, your immortality is draining away. So you're gradually becoming more and more…"

Ed hesitated, and Envy felt irritation pique at the look on his face.

"More and more _what_?" Envy hissed, his fists slowly clenching.

"...Well, more...human, I guess."

Envy's hand struck out and flung the mug into the air, spraying what was left of the cocoa over the over and causing the mug itself to shatter onto the floor. Ed opened his mouth to yell at him, but Envy grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him up and across the table to come face to face with his snarling, disgusted rage.

"_Are you telling me,_" Envy spat every word, decorating Ed's face with tiny drops of spittle. "_That I'm becoming a disgusting, lowly, snivelling, pathetic mass of a _human?"

Envy's shark-like teeth were less than an inch from his nose, but Ed still looked him dead in the eye and shoved him away. "That's exactly what I'm telling you. And anyway, isn't that what you wanted?"

Envy's raging fury quickly transformed into icy shock.

_He remembered._

Ed's golden eyes glared into his with utmost defiance and, surprisingly, almost pity. And immediately Envy felt disgusted. With Ed, with this stupidly comforting house and with his own goddamn stone for screwing him over like this.

"Why, you _imbecilic_-" The blue streak was ready to jump off the tip of Envy's tongue when a soft lisp coming from the left of him forced him to stop.

"Daddy? Who'th thi'th?"

Envy turned around and was shocked to see an even _smaller _Pipsqueak standing in the doorway, rubbing his eyes. Ed quickly kneeled down in front of him and spoke to him in a calm, quiet voice.

"Jeremiah, this is Envy. He's one of my friends and he'll be staying for a little while with us."

Jeremiah-was his name actually that stupid? Sometimes Envy couldn't believe the Pipsqueak's taste-opened his eyes and inspected the homunculus. His little button nose scrunched up and he pointed at the top of Envy's head.

"Daddy, why i'th hi'th hair like thath? I'th all th'tupid looking. Like a palm tree."

Envy's mouth dropped open and he snarled at the little brat.

"_Palm Tree? _Oh you I'm going to put you through a _meat-grinder _you little pile of pig sausage-"

"Envy!" Ed's voice was cold, and Envy turned to look at him. He didn't think he had ever seen Fullmetal quite as angry as he was now. "Like _heck _you will."

The kid giggled but stopped once his father's menacing eyes turned to him. "And you! You should apologize."

Those words alone might have not seemed so intimidating, but Envy had a feeling that the kid had experienced his father's wrath before, because he almost looked as if he was going to wet his pants. He looked away and mumbled under his breath. "Th'orry."

"Good. Now why don't you go upstairs to your room? It is way too early for you to be up."

The kid nodded, but as soon as Ed had turned back to scold Envy about making a mess, he stuck his little pink tongue directly in Envy's face.

So _that_ little brat was the reason Envy couldn't swear around here.

He never had much of an intuition, but something gave him feeling that this next month would be nothing but hell.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hi there. Long time no update. If you're curious as to why I haven't updated in two years, check out my tumblr under the same name (Owlsweety). If not...just enjoy the new chapter. Or two. Because this update includes two new chapters.**

**There are Edvy themes in this chapter in particular, but I will repeat, this is an EnvyxOC fic. I love Edvy as much as anyone, believe me, but I will not indulge you fangirls today. On another note, because of the stuff mentioned in this chapter (and because of later chapters to come) I will be changing this fic's rating from T to M. Sorry teeny-boppers.**

**Disclaimer: Again, I do not own FullMetal Alchemist or its characters.**

_(...)_

Fall in Amestris had always been, for as long as Rachel had been able to remember, her favorite time of year. The trees in the village were bright and round and gold, reminding her of the faraway oaks that washed along the edges of her fuzzy set of memories. Walking along the tunnel of unfamiliar trunks and strange foliage, she couldn't help but feel the strong sense of out-of-place-ness that followed her everywhere. It was so intense that, even though fall remained her favorite season, she was thankful she only ever had to go the village well once a day.

She was less thankful for the company. For, even though the well was free to use at all hours, it was only at five p.m. that Elias chose to follow her to get his man certainly gave her no obvious reason to be uneasy. He always offered to carry her heavy bucket and was witty enough to drag a small chuckle from even her every now and again. Besides that, he was one of the most attractive men in the village; his combination of light brown stubble, slicked-back, dirty blonde hair and icy blue eyes was enough to send any normal girl into a swoon.

But Rachel wasn't a normal girl, no matter how hard she tried to be. She was lucky that her last five years in the village were much safer and happier than the six years before that. She was thankful for the kindness of Angelus, the father of Elias that also served as the village's sole leader. When she was found stumbling, starved and feral, in from the dark forest, Angelus had been the one who had ordered that she receive medical care. He was also the one who, once she was better, provided her a home and a listening ear for every little thing that kept her up at night, including her inability to remember anything apart from her name. Upon learning of this, Angelus soothed her with the news that no one in the village used surnames to distinguish one another-rather, that they preferred to all take on the name "Lapsus", Angelus's own surname, so that they all would feel some sort of familial bond. Rachel declined to adopt this practice, but she still couldn't believe her luck at finding such a welcoming and warm group of people. Still, even after living with the villagers for five years, she felt less lucky that Angelus's 30-year-old son (whom Rachel guessed must be around the same age as her) had taken such a strong interest in her and her water over the past two years.

As they reached the well, Rachel pumped her water, before politely offering to pump Elias's. After doing so, he insisted, as usual, in picking up both buckets and carrying them himself, all the while adopting a smirk that even Rachel had to admit made her heart flutter a bit.

"You live all alone, Miss Rachel," Elias remarked as they walked among the trees. "Don't you ever get lonely? I don't doubt that you can take care of yourself, but even someone like me would get nervous to be on my own at night."

Rachel smiled wryly. "I do alright. Den keeps me company." Elias wasn't very far off the mark; Rachel frequently had strange nightmares that kept her up, often until the fresh cracks of dawn peeked over the horizon. However, since getting Den, her large golden retriever, Rachel felt better having someone to stay up with.

Elias frowned. "You can't keep him forever, you know. Dogs don't do well in the village. They go crazy, do things for no reason."

Rachel glanced over at Elias, quickly feeling the small amount of affection towards him for being so concerned about her vanish. "Den hasn't ever done anything like that. And even if he did, he wouldn't do so to anyone else."

"If you say so, Miss Rachel." Upon reaching her small cottage, Rachel reached for her bucket, only to have it held even higher in the air by Elias's mysteriously strong arms. "I really do insist on carrying this in for you. You always make them so mighty heavy for yourself, and I hate to watch you strain."

_You're doing most of the straining, darling,_ thought Rachel a little ruefully, but she squashed down her annoyance and opened the cottage door, leading Elias into the small kitchen. She heard the door close as the bucket hit the wood floor with a thick _thunk, _and before she knew what was happening, strong arms encircled her waist and pulled her against a warm torso.

Rachel felt the air in her chest escape rapidly until her sternum was stretched taught, as if someone had pinned two ends of a very short string on either side of her biceps. "Elias, what are you doing?"

Rough, chapped lips pressed against her cheek, before making a line down her neck and her shoulder. A pool of searing heat sprung in the lowest pit of Rachel's stomach. Her neck had always been particularly...sensitive.

"This house is so much colder than the rest of the village," A deep, husky growl breathed into her left ear, and Rachel kept herself from gasping as a hand groped her right breast suddenly. "Thought I could help you warm it up."

Another hand clutched at her skirt, and Rachel could feel herself melting against her will to the warm chest that was behind her. She was not a woman immune to the desires of the flesh. She had gone, at this point, eleven years without feeling a hand on her body, save for her own, and this tall, dark, handsome man was certainly someone worthy of breaking the streak. But even as one part of her mind whispered that it would feel _so good _to give in, every other part of her carried a repulsion that she couldn't give a name. To let Elias touch her like this would be wrong. This was not a merely a moral dilemma for Rachel. It was a fact.

She reluctantly untangled herself from the strong arms around her and turned to face her assailant, backing towards the sink. She looked down at the ground, rubbing her neck to erase the feeling of his lips against her skin, and shook her head.

"Elias, there isn't anything wrong with you. In any normal situation, you would be perfect for me, but I just...I can't."

Those icy blue eyes flashed with embarrassment, and the man in front of her looked away, blushing more from confusion and sadness rather than anger. He nodded slowly, not willing to look Rachel in the eyes.

"I understand. Thank you for the water, Miss Rachel. I hope this isn't the end of our friendship."

Rachel looked up at him and smiled. "It isn't, don't worry."

Elias nodded again, standing awkwardly in her kitchen for another few seconds before sliding out her front door.

Rachel sighed and slumped in the chair she always kept near the stove. "Denial," she called out, and a few seconds later, a panting golden retriever came padding in to nuzzle her sides.

She rubbed the top of Den's head and touched her stomach. Den's name was strange, and gave the other villagers pause, but it was one of the things she insisted on when getting him. She had felt such a strong connection to the name, and she couldn't help but feel it had something to do with the memories she couldn't quite grasp, the many mysteries that included the purple stretch marks and thick scar along her stomach. When she had first woke in the forest eleven years ago, confused and lost, the pain in her abdomen had her on her back for days. Later, she found a large incision just below her navel to be the culprit, an open wound that quickly became infected and left a jagged, unattractive scar. Along with her dark stretch marks, the scar gave her the only thing that she knew for certain about her lost past; she had been pregnant, and recently. As she rubbed her stomach, she couldn't help but feel that out-of-place-ness again. She wondered briefly what had happened to her child, where he or she was, whether he had died in the forest alongside her somewhere and she had merely been too weak to look.

A soft muzzle broke her from her dark thoughts and she looked over at Den, who was whining at her to be let outside. "Alright, let's go." She stood and opened the front door, watching the bumbling mass of golden blonde dart for the woods, and tried to keep her mind off of what had happened in her kitchen a few minutes before.

_(...)_

Fall in Amestris was normally Envy's favorite time of year. Even though he had lived hundreds of them before, he appreciated how each fall was always just a little bit different. They always brought back things he had long forgotten. The way the leaves were turning from green to gold on the oak trees around Central, for instance, would sometimes remind him of the HQ Spring Ball of 1825, when Wrath could afford to spend money on balls and fancy dresses for Envy to attend in unnoticed; sometimes the pattern would bring back the scent of the iceberg roses that randomly sprouted in the presidential courtyard in 1904, an incident that resulted in such an infestation that Pride had to take charge in the middle of the night and uproot them all by morning. Envy always smiled at that memory. It came with the image of a short and dirt covered Pride, stuck with various leaves and petals, stomping through the tunnels and demanding that Envy find him a new set of nightclothes to change into by morning so the sweet Mrs. Bradley wouldn't be suspicious. To Envy's sadistic side, the whole thing had been incredibly comical.

However, this year he was spending fall in Resembool. With the Elrics. Who were, to put it lightly, driving him _up _the fucking wall.

First was the fact that, upon his arrival, Fullmetal had neglected to mention he had a fucking wife. Which, Envy supposed he should have inferred from the existence of the Jeremiah brat, but that didn't keep him from being startling to a very sleepy blonde woman, who, upon seeing him sipping coffee in her kitchen at 6:00 a.m., hit him over the head with a giant wrench. After the Pipsqueak came down to control the crazy bitch who was fucking _assaulting _him, Envy was able to explain the situation as clearly as he could. Winry, which was apparently her name, was not happy.

"You can't just have someone only you know come into our house and stay for 'a few months', and not tell me!" Envy plugged his ears at that. _God, _that woman could shriek. "I'm already working months at a time in Rush Valley! I don't have time to go down there again, and now, along with Al and Mei, we have anothermouth to feed!"

"I can feed myself," Envy growled, which earned him a sharp look from the Fullmetal pipsqueak.

"It's part of his parole, Winry. It's orders from the Fuhrer. I can't really say no to that."

Winry huffed and crossed her arms. "You're not a state alchemist anymore. You're not a part of the military. You don't have to listen to those creeps."

"He's already here, Win. What am I supposed to do? Just kick him out?"

"Still here," Envy groaned.

Winry glared at him but uncrossed her arms and put her hands on her hips. Her shoulders relaxed and she looked away from Edward, the tension in her body giving way along with her resolve.

"Fine. But-" She spun around to Envy and held a finger to his face. "You will _not _hurt my family, you will respect my household, and you will behave yourself or so help me, I will kick your ass out to the curb so you can freeze it off in the winter."

"Winry!" Ed muttered, but was silenced with a searing glance from his wife. Envy rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"Whatever you say. It's not like I have much of a choice."

As soon as Winry stalked off, Envy turned to Ed and grinned. "You had to put your dick in that?"

Ed blushed and looked disapprovingly at Envy. "Do not talk badly about Winry. She's always been an old childhood friend, and she means a lot to me, okay?"

"Okay." Envy silently turned back to his coffee. There were too many rules about what he could say in this house.

Fullmetal's chick turned out to be the least of his problems. The Pipsqueak had also neglected to include, in his correspondence with Envy, the small detail that his brother and his girlfriend would be coinciding their visit with Envy's arrival. It surprised Envy how mistrusting Alphonse was of the homunculus; When Ed took him to meet him and Mei, he pulled his girlfriend to his chest and watched him with suspicious eyes that Envy was all too used to. It was a little strange to see that the former tin can even had eyes, but since Promised Day, Envy was willing to exasperatedly accept any new fact about the Elrics.

The most infuriating housemate however wasn't the Pipsqueak's girl, or his brother, or even his blonde fuckface of a brat that would pull Envy's hair or steal Envy's shit whenever he could. No, the most difficult person to live with for the last month or so proved to be none other than the Pipsqueak himself.

It wasn't that the Pipsqueak was particularly uncleanly, although Envy had snooped one day around his study and found out that the former alchemist's organizational system was fucking demented. It was more that, being a scientist, he was _fascinated _with Envy's current situation: the sweating, the breathing, the "oiling". All of it, the Elric couldn't seem to get enough of. In fact, he had even enlisted the help of a reluctant Alphonse to use alkahestry concepts in order to find a potential "cure" for the rapid deterioration of Envy's homunculus form. And rapid it was indeed, Ed insisted; he claimed, much to Envy's unease, that soon the homunculus would lose all semblance of his shape-shifting abilities, closely followed by his immense strength, his regenerative abilities, and eventually, his immortality.

All of this was enough to understandably make Envy squirm quite a bit, but Fullmetal was confident that even with just the knowledge of alchemy, he would be able to find a solution. The problem was more of _how _the Elric applied that knowledge. Every goddamn day, it felt like, Envy was in his study, being scrutinized and prodded and examined, interrogated over every little change in his body. He wouldn't have minded this so much if he was more like his old self; but along with slowly becoming human, Envy began to acquire human needs. And with the fucking Pipsqueak running his firm, rough fingers over the thigh that had Envy's ouroboros tattoo, it was hard for the homunculus to think about anything other than the fact that no one had touched him like that for _eleven fucking years._

Luckily, for two months, Envy had been able to keep his waking libido a secret. He wasn't going to embarrass himself by lusting after the fucking Pipsqueak, after all. And besides, if he even allow himself so much as a thought about the Elric's golden brown skin and soft blonde hair, he felt the sharp pain of a familiar feeling, hidden deep among his ribcage. Something kept saying no. It was as if his body was torn in two, simultaneously begging for someone to just _fucking touch him already _but also pleading to rot in peace. It was the second feeling that made Envy a little nervous about his "deteriorating state". It was too human an emotion. It was grief.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: The second part of the double update. Again, reminder: Edvy themes, EnvyxOC story. Also, there's some almost sex in this, so just be warned. Rating has been changed to M.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or its characters.**

_(...)_

It was one fateful night at the Elrics' when Envy was jostled awake, the cracks of dawn not even visible on the horizon yet. The bleating cicadas filled his ears and chased away the lovely dream he was having, light brown hair and blue eyes being replaced with gold.

He moaned. "Christ, Fullmetal, what time is it? Can't this wait for the morning?"

The Pipsqueak shook his head feverently, his golden eyes lighting up even more with excitement. "Normally, yes, but I'm really on the edge of something incredible here. I just need your help for a few minutes, okay? Then I'll let you go back to sleep."

"Fuck." Envy felt the cool wood of the floor against the soles of his feet, as he followed the Elric back to his study. He closed the door behind him and flopped down in one of the chairs, still dizzy and groggy with sleep.

Fullmetal wasted no time, sitting across from Envy and grabbing his legs. Envy suddenly snapped awake when he felt his legs being spread apart, and a strong hand sliding its way up his thigh.

The homunculus clapped his legs together and stared at Edward. "Fullmetal, what the fuck? What the ever loving fuck?"

Ed looked up and shushed him. "Quiet! Winry's still sleeping in the next room. I know it seems weird, but I really need to take a look at you…" He started blushing. "Down there. As well as other places and muscles in that area, but that's the most important. Please, it could be the most brilliant thing I've ever come up with so far."

Envy still stared at him, incredulous. "Does the tin can know?"

Ed's gaze darkened and he gritted his teeth together. "I really wish you would stop calling him that. And no, he doesn't. It's...it's something I came across in the old texts, stuff written before they knew how alchemy really worked." He looked up into Envy's eyes, and suddenly the homunculus's mouth was very, very dry. "I know it's uncomfortable, but I have to see if it could work. Can you just trust me, please?"

Envy swallowed and slowly spread his legs apart, giving in. This was his absolute worst fucking nightmare.

In any other context, it would have seemed as if the oldest Elric was eager to get a feel on him, but Envy knew that the rapidness with which Edward pulled down his sleeping trousers was really based more on scientific curiosity than sexual desire. It was hard to remember that though when he felt fingers dip under the fabric, prodding around him in places where he had certainly _imagined _Fullmetal's fingers to be before and _holy fucking god there was something fucking inside him._

Almost immediately following Envy's startled grunt, Ed pulled his hand out of his pants and looked at him, satisfied. "I knew it. You have both male and female genitalia."

Envy squeezed his thighs together and rubbed the spot between his legs, duly pissed at the golden blonde in front of him. "And you couldn't have just fucking _asked, _you goddamn pervert? You just about violated me in your office. I should call Human Resources or some shit."

Ed grabbed an alchemic tome nearby, flipping through the pages and only glancing up at Envy occasionally. "I couldn't trust you to tell me the truth. You'd probably just lie to me and then shift your form to fit, all just to get under my skin." He stopped at a particular page, golden eyes darting back and forth to skim the text. "However, now that I know what your default stage is, I know what you'll have when your deterioration has almost reached its completion. Which makes things easier for the both of us."

Envy looked up at the blonde, his eyes squinting with rising annoyance and, although he'd never admit it, uneasiness. "What do you mean?"

Edward gave Envy a look that made the homunculus suddenly very, very nervous. "You're not going to like this, but it's the most likely way to stop your condition and possibly, reverse it."

"I'm listening."

Edward took a deep breath and closed the book. He made the best attempt to look Envy right in the eye, although the sin noticed he did so with increasing difficulty. "When ancient pagan religions discovered the art of alchemy, it was largely by accident and attributed to the power of gods. Even though transmutation of objects was fundamental in cooking and primitive chemistry, most were more concerned with the transmutation of energy. The transfer of energy from one person to another."

Envy raised an eyebrow, the nervous swirling in his stomach growing stronger every second. "Enough with the history lesson, _Pipsqueak. _I need to know what this has to do with my bits."

"Well, since pagan knowledge of alchemy was basic and limited, circles were often more objects than carefully mapped out diagrams. They would create a 'circle' using joined hands, groups of people, altars, or...well…" It was at that point that Edward started blushing.

Envy's eyes widened when he realized exactly what the alchemist was proposing. "No. No, fuck that. There has to be some other way, because I am not doing that."

Ed groaned. "Look, Envy, I hate it too, but I can't do regular alchemy anymore. I gave it all up for Al." The blonde looked at his hands, and Envy almost could discern a small twinge of sadness in his expression. "It's like I have all this pulsing, raging power in my veins, but I have no way of using it. I have no way of releasing it. And, well, you obviously need energy of _some _sort in order to stay alive, so I really think it's worth a shot."

Envy clenched his fist and looked at the ground. The Pipsqueak's monologue had him feeling that maybe the blonde hadn't been doing as well since Promised Day as Envy had thought. It almost made him feel the slightest bit of pity towards the man.

He glanced upwards at Ed, who was looking as uncomfortable as Envy felt. "What about Winry?"

Ed shook his head. "She already knows. I told her yesterday afternoon, and we talked about it. I love her more than anything and I always will, no matter what, and when I told her that she agreed to let me try it."

"Yesterday afternoon? You mean, you wanna try it right now?"

Ed shrugged. "Now's as good as any. We don't know how much time we have left before you experience more changes than sweating. I don't even know if you'll even be alive once you lost your immortality."

Envy let the room be silent for a minute while he deliberated. The alchemist wasn't trying to get freaky with him. He was actually, for once in Envy's existence, trying to help the homunculus out. And maybe he should reward his hardest efforts with at least an_ attempt_ to accept them as possible solutions.

"Okay."

Sliding into Edward's lap, Envy couldn't help but feel a little bit awkward. All that tension quickly dissipated however when the Elric's lips met his, and he felt the pulsing need in his body that he had forced dormant for two months burst open, like some sort of disgusting sex blister. The Pipsqueak kissed him hard and fast, and Envy felt a brief cognitive dissonance between the young, inexperienced boy he remembered and the well-versed, nimble fingers that slid up his back and into his hair. As warm lips traveled from his mouth to his jaw, Envy couldn't help wondering if Winry had actually been Edward's first. Judging by their single kid, that marriage had definitely not been having enough sex in eleven years for the blonde to get this good.

Even as Ed's hands slipped in his pants and did their best to make the homunculus moan, Envy still had a hard time focusing on the task at hand. His anxiety grew with every touch, masked just barely by desperate need. It felt wrong. It felt all wrong. Not because it was the Pipsqueak, but because it was anyone, literally anyone else. Envy quickly realized that he wasn't sure if he could handle this. It was so much, so fast, and he began remembering why he hadn't sprung upon the blonde for two months.

He did his best to deal. Ed's hands worked their magic, and Envy dutifully closed his eyes and imagined he was anywhere else. He wanted to give in. He was dying, he realized suddenly, and he needed so desperately for this to work. He couldn't keep living as a shadow of his former self. It would be literal suicide. A long, slow suicide, but suicide nonetheless. And so, he let Ed stand him up and unbuckle his pants, as Envy pulled down his own. Ed let him kick one pant leg completely off before he sat him down in his lap again, sending one hand directly between Envy's legs and using the other to guide the homunculus's hands to similar places.

"It won't work if I'm not…" Ed started. Envy complied, causing Ed to moan softly and rest his forehead against the sin's, his eyelashes lightly brushing against his cheek. The homunculus turned his face away, avoiding Ed's eyes as the alchemist's fingers caused his toes to curl.

It was then that Envy tasted the bile on his tongue. Quickly, he pulled Ed's hand away and jumped off his lap to dash to the trash can in the corner. He bent over, half-naked, and vomited for a solid five minutes, shame and fear and disgust wracking his skinny body until his arms began to shake the plastic bin he was holding. It wasn't until he had stopped that he realized two strong hands were holding his hair back, keeping it from becoming messy with sick.

He sat silently for a few seconds. It was utterly humiliating, being like this. In front of the fucking Pipsqueak, no less. Envy felt the feeling of utter disappointment, of weakness showing on his face and in his back and his bones and his spine, all of which could be clearly seen by the only person to ever notice it in the first place.

He shuddered as a warm hand placed itself on his shoulder, rubbing all the way down to his elbow and back. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you to do this."

Fullmetal's voice carried actual remorse, which almost made Envy laugh. He could feel that tiny part of him that was sure Edward wanted to see him suffer like this. It was a fitting revenge upon a worst enemy, and if Envy wasn't the victim, he might have been impressed. But instead he just felt sick.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Envy occasionally retching up empty air into the bin before him. After a brief period, Ed broke the silence with the one question Envy hated the most.

"What's wrong?"

He raised his head to weakly look back at the alchemist, weariness and anger tinting his gaze. "Nothing. I just haven't done it in a while. I can try again."

"No offense, but I'm not letting you try that again, at least not now. I don't want you vomiting all over me next time."

Envy laughed weakly, a familiar metallic taste filling his mouth. "You hated it too, Pipsqueak. You hate me so much, you can't even bring yourself to care about me when I'm upchucking my fucking insides into your trash can."

He felt the grip on his hair tighten. "How can you say that? I'm doing this for you. I have a wife who's probably lying awake right now, worried sick because I'm willing to fuck you to cure you. I have a reputation that I have to maintain, a brother whose trust I have to keep. I have a fucking life that I'm risking, all so that you can feel a little stronger than the rest of us. So you can fool yourself into thinking that you actually believe that you're better than us, when in reality, you're just as weak as every other human."

Edward's words filled Envy's stomach with poison, a thick venom that quickly coated his tongue as he spat pure bitterness over his shoulder. "You're the one fooling yourself, _Pipsqueak. _You like to play the fucking hero, the knight in shining armor, but you don't actually give a flying _shit. _You're doing this for the research. You're doing this because you want to feel like you're actually worth something, after you gave up the only thing you were ever known for just for your stupid _brother._"

Envy felt saliva suddenly block off his trachea as his hair was viciously yanked back, his eyes connecting with bright, furious gold. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

Envy grinned, his self-restrain flying to the wind. He felt like his old self: vicious, free, violent. "I'm right, aren't I? He took everything you had built up since you decided to bring _mommy _back. You were on top of the world, and then you had nothing. He's free to do whatever he wants, he can do alchemy, alkahestry, fuck it, probably even fucking magic, and you're just a nobody who has to _fuck _someone in order to do anything useful."

The wall met his face with a sickening _crack _and suddenly the metallic taste in Envy's mouth wasn't from anger, but blood. He wheezed softly as Ed yanked his hair back again, pulling his neck so far that he could barely breathe, letting the blood fill his nostrils and suffocate him.

"I'll never have to live with as much guilt as you, Envy." The hiss in Edward's voice made Envy's eyes widen. The alchemist had lost all self-control. "I never killed anyone I didn't have to. I never slaughtered millions just so I could feel good about myself. And most of all, I married the woman I got pregnant. Unlike you, I didn't leave her to give birth alone. I didn't let her die, alone, thrown off a cliff when the carriage fucking slipped." The air following the words coming through Edward's teeth was so strong, he almost started whistling. "I stayed with my son. I didn't fucking abandon him. I didn't let him grow up alone, with no visits, without even so much as a phone call. I may feel things that I'm ashamed of, but I'll never have to live with that guilt. Not like you."

Envy's eyes clouded over with white-hot fury as he slammed his fist backwards into Edward's cheekbone, feeling a soft give from the skin and bone that he knew would leave a bruise. In return, he felt the hard knuckles of Fullmetal's right hand dislocate his chin, the searing pain fueling his anger. He made a move to hit the Elric again, but suddenly found himself once more bent over the trash can, this time without the help of gentle hands to keep his hair clean.

With the punching stopped for a few seconds, both of the men took time to let their anger fizzle out. Envy felt his replaced with a strange weariness; fighting the Pipsqueak felt good for a moment, but it only reminded him that he was far from where he used to be. It was a tiring, sad realization; he tried to flare up some sort of rage to compensate, but was only met with a deep exhaustion.

"That's why you couldn't do it. Because it's...it's today."

Envy glanced over his shoulder again at Ed, who was looking more remorseful than angry. "Yeah. It is."

Envy had been aware of this from the moment he had stepped out of bed. He just had chosen to keep it to himself, as he had every year for the past eleven years. There wasn't enough energy left in him to think about it. He had thought about it too much for too long. It just wasn't in him anymore.

"Have you ever tried to have sex with anyone else? Ever?"

Envy shook his head. "Maybe once or twice. It never works."

Ed was quiet. "Once or twice?"

"Yeah, Pipsqueak. You know. To move on and shit."

"Yeah, you've really done a great job of moving on."

Envy grit his teeth and tried to wipe away some of the dried blood that had congealed underneath his nose. "It's not the easiest fucking thing in the world, you know."

"Trust me, I know." It was then that Envy remembered Ed knew better than anyone.

They sat in silence for a few more moments, Edward rubbing his fist while Envy popped his jaw back into place. "Do you know where he is?"

"Yeah. He's with Pride."

"What?"

"Yeah, he's been taking care of him for all these years." He scowled and looked back over his shoulder. "I did call him, by the way. Every year on this day. Until about four years ago."

"Why'd you stop?"

Envy stared down into the plastic bin. "He told me to. Said if I didn't have the balls to actually see him in person, I should stop pretending I cared altogether."  
Ed whistled. "Yep. Definitely your son."

"Like you would know."

"I would, actually." Envy felt a warmth on his shoulder and turned to see Ed's hand there once again. "I've decided that I need a promise from you."

Envy looked at Ed incredulously. "You do know who you're talking to, right?"

"You bet the hell I do." Ed stared at Envy with piercing gold eyes, and the sin remembered why he had been so jealous of this golden boy in the first place. That unwavering determination that had always just been barely out of his reach came so easily to the alchemist. "By tomorrow evening, you need to have your stuff packed and be on a train to Central."

Envy shook his head. "You don't know what you're talking about, Pipsqueak."

"Envy, if you don't see him, you will never be able to move past this. You will never be able to let go." The hand on his shoulder squeezed him gently. "Do you really want that to happen? Do you really want to have lived four hundred years and never be able to move past something that happened so recently? If that's the case, you might as well let yourself disintegrate."

Ed's changed in expression did not go unnoticed. He wasn't just giving advice to the homunculus. He was speaking from experience, having once been an eleven year old boy who gave up everything for the same reasons Envy was giving up everything. For once, Envy realized that Edward wasn't being a naive human. He actually knew what the fuck he was talking about, and, Envy connected, he knew more about what he was talking about than Envy did.

Envy sighed. "Fine. By tomorrow evening, I'll be out of your hair. If it makes you feel so fucking good about yourself, I'll do what you want. But I can't promise anything."

Edward smiled. "That was a mature, rational decision Envy. I'm impressed."

Envy growled. "Just because I had my hand on your dick doesn't mean I'm totally averted to beating the _fuck _out of you, Pipsqueak."

Ed stood and leant a hand to the still kneeling homunculus, who begrudgingly accepted, seeing as how he could barely stand without swaying. The two stumbled their way back to Envy's bedroom, where Edward awkwardly left him slumped on his mattress in a post-sick stupor. Just outside his window, soft sunlight lit up the sky from beneath the horizon, giving the world a creamy orange glow.

"Happy birthday, Denial." Envy whispered to himself, grunting as he fought the urge to vomit again. "I hope you still don't hate me."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Lots of quick updates lately. I've been in sort of a writing mood. Anyway, I've estimated each chapter to be about five pages in length, so that I can pace the story arc better. This chapter focuses more on our OC character, and the tight spot she's currently found herself in.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist or any of its characters.**

_(...)_

It had been a week since the incident in Rachel's kitchen. Her daily trips to the well had been significantly less eventful, now that no one was there to chatter idly alongside her. She had grown more aware of the weight of her bucket, but other than that, Rachel was relieved. Deep down, she had always dreaded that Elias would make some sort of advance on her, and now that it had finally happened she was glad it did. It wasn't so much that she had feared she wouldn't be able to fight him off, because she knew that if it ever came to that (unlikely, knowing the nature of Elias), she would be more than able to defend herself. It was the deepest, darkest part of her that whispered that when the time came, she wouldn't want to break away. That she would be too weak to not give in.

She was deeply glad that was not the case.

Living in a small area, with people as close together and with as tight-knit a community as this village, there was no such thing as being discreet. Even though Rachel never mentioned what had happened to anyone, she eventually felt her weekly shopping trips pricked with the jealous stares of younger girls, the kind that congregated in front of the fruit carts at the village marketplace. Even though she harbored no romantic feelings for Elias, she couldn't help but take a small bit of delight in the sharp whispers that came from clumps of far more attractive women, ones plump with breasts and curves and creamy, perfect skin. But as the whispers traveled from the soft lips of the village virgins to the old, withered ones of the elders, Rachel began to grow worried. Open sexuality was looked down upon by the community, and it didn't look good that Angelus's own son was succumbing to such a taboo.

Rachel held no resentment towards the man. Elias had come onto her of nowhere, but at this point she had found the resolve to forgive his sudden advance. She had said no, and he had got the hint. That was good enough for her, but in the eyes of the elders, she was worried there would be slightly more dire consequences.

Therefore, when she was about to take Den for a walk one day and opened her door to find none other than Angelus himself, she felt herself filled with enough anxiety for both her and her blonde suitor.

"Would you like anything to drink?" She asked the older man, seating him in a chair at her table. "Tea, maybe?" She quickly remembered she didn't actually have any tea. The chamomile that grew at the edge of the forest had already dried up for the fall.

Angelus smiled softly and shook his head. "No, thank you. This will be quick." He smoothed out the dark crimson robe he always wore, a symbol of power and status that Rachel had learned during her first few days at the village to respect immediately. "I assume you already know why I'm here."

Rachel sat down across from him, clutching one hand on the edge of her seat. Her left eyebrow had furrowed rather oddly into the bridge of her nose, in a desperate attempt to appear as stoic as possible. "I assure you, Angelus, Elias did nothing terrible. I know he's had a crush on me for ages, and I anticipated some sort of move coming from him. He was very respectful and left immediately after I refused him."

Angelus chuckled suddenly. Rachel's hands relaxed but her brow did not. "I-is everything alright, Angelus?"  
"Oh, yes, things are quite fine. You just seem to have mixed up exactly who I'm here for."  
Rachel blinked. She knew that, being Elias's father, the older man was more than likely to give his son the benefit of the doubt, but this behavior was not only inappropriate. It was strange. "I...I'm sorry, Angelus. I'm confused. I thought you came to talk to me about your son's advance upon me, within my own home."  
"Indeed I have, Rachel. But you see, I'm not here to discuss my son's actions in this situation. I'm here to discuss yours."  
"I'm not quite sure I understand."

The tension in Rachel's shoulders had increased until every muscle in her arms was taught with dread and anticipation. She briefly worried her arms would snap from the strain.

"You see, we as a community value certain things very much, collectively." Angelus's smooth, oaken voice softened Rachel's nerves, a special gift of older man. "It's part of who we are, as members of village. As members of The Church."

Rachel was not oblivious to The Red Church. She stayed inside on holy days, and in five years she had never once entered the giant Chapel that sat in the center of the marketplace. She accepted the kindness that came from the Church elders and followers, who comprised the entire village, but always politely declined to imitate their ways. Seeing her for an outsider, Angelus had gently asked the community never push the obscure religion on Rachel, but she still felt uneasy walking by a red robe or even catching a glimpse of the dark, scarlet windows that covered every wall of the Chapel. The way the sunlight glinted off the crimson glass sent shudders through every bone in her body.

"Obviously, many were appalled to hear about my son's forwardness towards you. But we are understanding that our strict attitudes might be slightly outdated for the times. And I know from personal experience that Elias's actions were not driven solely by lust, but instead came from a place of deep, true affection for you." Angelus's long, worn index finger began tracing the lines in the wood. "The likes of which you mentioned not long after I sat down here."

"Elias is thirty years old, as of this May. He is a studious and quiet man, but even so, I never expected him to have such little luck with finding a mate. It is very important to our community, as you know, that one eventually finds a partner with whom they can work, grow old, and eventually with whom they can walk into the next life."

"I know that your decision is your own, but my son has proven himself to be devoted to you. You know that he has not even entertained the possibility of being with anyone else since he fell for you five years ago?"  
Rachel felt her stomach drop. Angelus did not come her to comfort her. He came here to negotiate.

"I know what you are proposing, Angelus, but you have to understand that I just can't be with Elias."

Something stilled in the older man's expression, and Rachel was suddenly reminded of the dark red windows of the Chapel. "Forgive me, Rachel, but I cannot understand. This seems nothing more than stubbornness. You two get along quite well."  
Rachel felt something nudge her leg under the table and she looked down to see Den, growling slightly. She met Angelus's gaze and place a hand on the dog's back, passing it off as affection but actually trying to draw from some of the strength within the golden. "I know that, and I don't mean to direct any insult towards your son, really. He is an incredibly kind and loving man, and I don't doubt he will make a great partner for some girl someday." Rachel's breath was quick and short, and she had to pause in order to prevent herself from hyperventilating. "I'm telling you though, I just can't be that girl for him."  
"You mean, you _won't_ be that girl for him."

Rachel felt her temper flare a bit as Den grew louder under the table. She had never seen Angelus act like this. He was far more demanding, far more controlling than in any interaction with Rachel before. "So what if I won't? I don't see the problem with that. I'm not technically a part of the village, and I'm certainly not a part of the Church. I don't see why I should be forced to participate in this weird, life-long _mate_ endeavour with a man I don't actually reciprocate any feelings for."

Angelus's face immediately softened in response to Rachel's sharp tone. She noticed he didn't move his hands any farther away. "I don't intend to force you, Rachel. I'm merely trying to persuade you towards a decision that would be beneficial to the both of us. I won't be the head of the Church for much longer. Even though I do have an heir, I would prefer he would not have to lead alone, and without the promise of succession." The creases around his eyes deepened as he cocked his head to the side, a simple gesture that would appear nonchalant normally but was, in this situation, deeply unsettling. "As for you, the village loves you deeply. We've longed for quite a while to make you an official member of our large family, to accept you as one of our own."  
Rachel felt the tips of her fingers go cold against Den's fur. "You want me to join the Church."

"I don't see why not. After all, the Church is full of many good things, and many good people. You remember how it was the Church that helped you when you were sick and delirious? It was also the Church that allowed you this home, this dog, and your current position with our resident apothecary." Angelus finally reached a hand towards Rachel, trying to grasp one of her own. It was an action that was met with staunch reproach, as the brunette quietly but definitively leaned away, brimming with barely-restrained anger and slight fear.

"With initiation, you are already guaranteed a husband, a community, a faith. Think of the many other good things the Church could give you."

Rachel stood up suddenly and backed away from the table, trying not to let her panic show on her face. It was clear at this point that she needed Angelus out. This visit had already gone way too far. He was scaring her, with his talk of indoctrination, of a husband, of _children._

Rachel had already realized that compliance meant she would be tied to this village, that she'd never be able to leave. It would put her back in the middle of the forest eleven years ago, alone and in agony and afraid, helpless to fend for herself.

"Angelus, I have the highest of respect for you. But I cannot fulfill your request. Please leave."  
She had never seen a mask fall so fast. Gone was the face of the sweet, caring old man she knew, and in its place was an expression that she didn't quite recognize.

"Tell me, Rachel. What did your previous husband look like?"

A slight pause. "Excuse me?"  
"Your previous husband. The father of the child you gave birth to, before being stranded for six years in impenetrable wilderness. What did he look like? Can you even remember anything about him? His face? His name?"

Rachel pressed her lips together as she felt the vein in her cheek fill with blood and pulse violently. Angelus had never dared ask her about her child. In fact, in all five years, he hadn't even so much as _mentioned_ the c-section scar that took up the lower half of her abdomen, although he had certainly seen it several times when treating her. It had simply been a topic that both he and Rachel inherently knew would be too personal, something understood to cause too much pain for the brunnette.

Besides that, she knew she did not remember the father whatsoever, and she had a sinking feeling that Angelus knew she didn't either. She even doubted he _was _her husband. Her memories of even just before the village were increasingly fuzzy, and she barely had anything beyond the strong feelings of familiarity in the fall and the repulsion she felt when Elias had touched her. There was also that strange feeling of sadness, the draining sensation that followed her all throughout the beginning of spring; it was the gouging, exhausting feeling of loss, of tragedy, of death.

These emotions weren't much more than gut intuition, but Rachel clung to them, knowing they were the only keys she had to the locks buried within her brain. But even though she couldn't fathom the barest semblance of the person that kept her from Elias, she couldn't admit that to Angelus, no matter how transparent her lie would be. After five years of silence, it was not an accident that Angelus chose this moment to begin asking her about her past. It was a threat.

"He had dark hair. And dark eyes," She added, trying her best to eliminate any resemblance in her false description to Elias. She didn't need to give Angelus an incentive to manipulate her into thinking his son could be a suitable replacement. "He was short, but taller than me. And his hair was long," she inhaled sharply, fighting the urge to stutter. "And his name was William."

Angelus raised an eyebrow, staring directly into Rachel's face with eyes colder than the sweat currently wracking her entire body. "I see. And you loved him?"  
"I-Yes," Rachel blurted. "I did. Now, please leave."

The tension in the room coiled and thrived within the brief moment of awkward silence that followed, before the old leader finally rose. "Reconsider your emotions, Rachel. I assure you, it is in your best interests to do so."  
"And if I decide otherwise?"  
Angelus smiled one final time, once again assuming the kind, gentle mask from before, but it was no longer comforting. It was terrifying.

"Then you might not find a sanctuary within this village for much longer."


End file.
